Candid a.m.
I came across this photo of Eric a few days ago. I took this photo of Eric while on a camping trip last summer in Gooseberry Park. It was one of those early brisk mornings and we were trying to entertain ourselves to keep from having to leave the warmth of the camper. We laid in bed for hours. At one point, I picked up the camera during one of our "silly exchanges". It was one of those moments where we thought it would be funny to get a photo of ourselves looken' our finest. The typical a.m. candid shot. Messy hair. Pajamas. Squinted eyes. For gals-no make-up. Ahhh yes, the usual morning look. I snapped a photo of Eric and he took one of me. Of course, I didn't post the picture of me. I don't look as good as Eric in the morning. Laugh. Honestly though, what I really love about this photo is how it captures Eric's great smile and innocent nature. He had a heart of gold and was one of the kindest people I've ever known. I felt so lucky to have him as my husband. I reminded of this every time I look at this photo. It will remain one of my favorite photos of Eric. I already have plans to scrapbook it tomorrow.
It's almost been a week since Eric passed away. The air has gotten lighter and the fog is fading ever so slowly. The shock is wearing away. As my view changes with each passing day and things become a little clearer, I've become more aware of Eric's absence. To pass the time, I've been spending a lot of my free hours with my family and also with Eric's family. Trying to stay busy. I provide myself plans everyday. Each morning I get up and decide what I'm going to do for the day. Usually my mornings start off at around 5 a.m. Ethan gets up and needs caring for. We take a nap in the late morning. I put myself together and we start the day with an activity or two. Yesterday we had lunch with Kathy (Eric's mom), Molly (Eric's sister), and Ella (Molly's daughter). After lunch, I packed our bags for a visit to grandma & grandpa's house (my mom & dad). We stayed the night. Today, we caught an extra nap and visited Pottery Barn Kids with Kathy, Molly, and Ella. I squeezed in a few minutes of scrapbooking this afternoon during Ethan's nap. Trying to finish up a layout. I'll post it Saturday. All in all, we're getting along ok. Not really sure what tomorrow will bring..but, we're not there yet. Trying to stay focused on "now". This is a day to day endeavor. Each day is going to be different.
Thanks once again for your loving, open support everyone. Till Saturday, take care.
What a gorgeous photo Christine. Thanks for sharing it. Great memory, very touching, very loving. You take care, and take care of that sweet baby...till Saturday my friend, till Saturday.
XOXO
Aleida
Posted by: Aleida Franklin | January 10, 2008 at 07:55 PM
May God's peace continue to be your best friend through this season of your life.
The picture was priceless...so alive! so real!
God bless you and Ethan!
Your story has blessed my life!
Posted by: My Semblance of Sanity | January 10, 2008 at 07:57 PM
wonderful photo Christine - so happy!! And a very sweet story to go with it!
May God bless you and Ethan, and all of your family!!!
Posted by: justlisa | January 10, 2008 at 08:05 PM
I am ecstatically happy to see this, Christine. This is what you need to do to move forward and I'm so glad to see you cherish ever step of this journey.
Posted by: Davinie | January 10, 2008 at 08:25 PM
Beautiful picture.
Priceless. You can see the love in his eyes.
I am praying for you and your family.
I pray that God will gently bring you and your family through this with grace each and every day.
Jennifer
http://foxmjjb.blogspot.com
Posted by: Jennifer | January 10, 2008 at 08:27 PM
I happened upon your blog via Jody Ferlaak's and please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss!
I just wanted to share with you that what you're doing is important. I have a friend who lost her husband and I've walked that path with her. She has said she has made a plan for every day and keeps things in front of her to look foreward to and it's helped immensely. As you said yourself, you only have today and sometimes just "being" in the moment is fine too.
Also, I wanted to add that you are very talented and I love your creativity! What a gift!!
Blessings to you and your little boy and extended family!
Posted by: MSL | January 10, 2008 at 08:33 PM
Great photo! I'm glad you're OK
God bless!
Posted by: Gaby | January 10, 2008 at 08:53 PM
I am sending lots of (((hugs))) your way.
Posted by: Moriah Bettencourt | January 10, 2008 at 09:16 PM
I think it is wonderful how God's grace is shining upon you and your home. I think its very good that you are doing positive things as well. Living for the now in the moment is very important for your journey!
I am praying for you, always!
Posted by: Elizabeth | January 10, 2008 at 09:45 PM
Christine,
I loved seeing the picture of Eric and reading the wonderful memory you shared. I am so glad to hear you are staying busy and living one day at a time.
You are in my prayers...can't wait to see your layout on Saturday!
Posted by: amy | January 10, 2008 at 09:56 PM
What a truly wonderful memory and I hope your amazing writing will be one of the things that helps you through this. And please know that you and Ethan are in my thoughts...
Posted by: Colleen | January 10, 2008 at 10:10 PM
I will say it till my face turns blue...you are so brave. I admire your strength, the strength I wish I had.
Last night, I laid in bed and prayed and when I thought I was finished, your face flashed in my mind. (the one in your profile) So I prayed that you would hang in there....I prayed that God would just lift you and comfort you.
It's all I can do for you Christine. I wish there was more. It's all I can do.
xoxo
Veronica
Posted by: veronica | January 10, 2008 at 10:26 PM
I just followed a link to your blog and I wanted to say how sad I am for your loss and how happy I am that you shared your life with such a wonderful person, if only for a short time.
I'll continue to read your stories and appreciate your art work and think of you and wish you well.
One day at a time...you can do it. (((Hugs)))
Sue
Posted by: Sue | January 10, 2008 at 10:39 PM
I just followed a link to your blog and I wanted to say how sad I am for your loss and how happy I am that you shared your life with such a wonderful person, if only for a short time.
I'll continue to read your stories and appreciate your art work and think of you and wish you well.
One day at a time...you can do it. (((Hugs)))
Sue
Posted by: Sue | January 10, 2008 at 10:41 PM
Christine, that photo is fantastic!! It warms my heart just seeing it. I hope you carry that moment, that memory with you everyday. As always you amaze me with your strength and outlook, you are an incredible woman. I can't wait to see the beautiful layout you create with that photo.
Thinking of you always.
Posted by: casey boyd | January 11, 2008 at 12:35 AM
I love this photo
Eric's got such a soft smile...
wonderful photo to use on a LO !
I'll be there on saturday to see your new LO
Posted by: Sophie | January 11, 2008 at 12:42 AM
Love the photo. The first thing I noticed was the pure happiness in his smile. A treasure :)
Can't wait to see the layout.
Posted by: jill | January 11, 2008 at 03:01 AM
Christine, what a fantastic photo and a sweet wonderful memory to go with it!!! You are doing an amazing job of putting "one foot in front of the other". I'm praying for continued strength, courage and sunshine through the clouds. -Laura
Posted by: Laura | January 11, 2008 at 03:26 AM
What a wonderful treasure. You can so the love and happiness in his eyes.
Posted by: Tam | January 11, 2008 at 05:16 AM
Great picture ... and a great reminder of what a blessing being a scrapbooker - a maker and keeper of memories - can be. We often get teased for taking so many pictures, especially the "just because" ones, but just look at what a blessing this "just because" pic is to you. Hugs.
Posted by: nathalie (brn2scrp) | January 11, 2008 at 05:45 AM
Thoughts and prayers to you... thank you for sharing this with us and reminding us how precious life is.
Posted by: April | January 11, 2008 at 06:16 AM
Christine, you are SO in my prayers. You are doing it the right way. Every second, minute,hour, day, week is in survival mode. Eventually you'll make it through the valley you are in. Just remember to take it a step at a time.
Posted by: Katy | January 11, 2008 at 06:21 AM
Oh I love that picture, yes, he had a great smile!! Take baby steps, all your friends are right here holding your hand, and Eric is holding the other one.
Posted by: Heather Prins | January 11, 2008 at 06:21 AM
One of the best pictures ever!
Posted by: Kim Langston | January 11, 2008 at 08:13 AM
That is the sweetest picture! I am happy you are blogging! Hugs for you and Ethan.
Posted by: Susan Dingess | January 11, 2008 at 08:32 AM