Someone cares about you...
Knock. Knock. Who's there? It's the Mr. FedEx Man. What could he be bringing to our home? I haven't ordered anything in ages. It must be Eric's meds from hospice. I figured his nurse must of ordered something for him and the Fed Ex guy was dropping it off. So, I opened the door to grab the box and guess what? It wasn't for Eric. It was for me. Oh my gosh!? What the..wait, who's it from? Scrapsupply..hmmmm..what's going on here? I quickly opened the box and look what I found. Yep, you see that stuff in the pic? That's just some of it. Scrapsupply generously supplied me with some scrapbook goodness and a heartfelt card with the words "Someone Cares About You". Part of the shipment was even wrapped in Christmas paper. I just about cried. I couldn't believe it..here I was having a terrible mornen' and this box came to brighten my day. The timing couldn't of been better. So, I'm sending out a huge thank-you to the thoughtful people over at Scrapsupply for the items I received today....including the hand-made sympathy card. I'm truly grateful..and blessed to know that support extends beyond the walls of my home...beyond the boundaries of my state..and from places and hearts I've never been or known. Thank-you so much.
It was a very difficult day for me today, but I want to start this entry off with an update on Eric. Eric hasn't shown any real significant changes or losses in the last week or so. He's actually awake for longer periods of time and his cognitive function has improved some. His awareness level has also improved. We've been seeing and hearing a lot more from Eric these last few days. I've even caught him wondering the house without me knowing it..just a few nights ago the guy was cleaning his coffee machine. I was so impressed. Of course, this doesn't go without saying that Eric continues to get weaker physically. He's experiencing muscle wasting. Because he's not actively walking around as much, his muscle weight is decreasing. This makes it harder for him to function like we do. He just doesn't have the energy or the strength that he used to have when he was a healthy guy. He also lacks coordination, which makes it difficult for him to navigate a path easily. These are a few of the changes we've been seeing in Eric...more later.
Right now, we're taking the good with the bad..appreciating each second we have with him. Just last night I soaked up some time with Eric. We sat side by side on the couch and ate Klondike bars together like two big kids totally in love. These moments are rare and when they happen, I tell myself not to forget them. Here I am recording it...I don't want to forget. We also held each other's hand today. So sweet. It's these small, precious moments that define us..not the cancer or the changes. It's the stuff I try to focus on in the midst of the chaos that surrounds us. Taking the good with the bad. Focusing more on the good. That's how we're surviving.
Today was a rough day for me. I can't specify details, though this sort of experience doesn't come without arguments. I've had many in my day these last few months. They're draining and for the most part, unproductive (some are productive..not all). They leave me feeling exhausted beyond repair. If I can avoid them, I do. I couldn't today. It was just one of those days. It was a big one too...it almost sank me. Sank me deep. Kathy came to my rescue once again (MIL)..thank goodness. We had a nice long chat and she provided me with some helpful feedback and a bitty bit of comfort. Love her for that. Just glad to have the day over now. A full night sleep awaits me. Take care.
how sweet and special this is for you, perfect timing - it's such a good feeling to see good will in all the right places at all the right times. HUGE hugs to you on this rough day and know that you become stronger each and every step of the way. i hope that your new year is simply peaceful.
Posted by: rachel carlson | December 29, 2007 at 09:03 PM
So cool, I love anything that can put a smile on your face these days! I love the moments that you are having with Eric. Enjoy your goodies, can't wait to see more of your fabulous layouts!!
Posted by: heather prins | December 29, 2007 at 09:18 PM
I'm so glad you had a little something to smile about today. People can be so good. I pray for you to find the strength to continue through this journey. It is so nice you have your MIL there, for you to have each other to comfort. You remain in my thoughts on a daily basis.
Posted by: Tonya | December 29, 2007 at 09:53 PM
I am so happy that those people have so generously sent you a goodie box. :) I'm glad it made you feel a bit better too.
I am praying...stay strong my sweet girl!
Posted by: veronica | December 30, 2007 at 12:05 AM
the kindness of your surprise gave me goosebumps.
often thinking of you and hoping you're able to find even the tiniest bit of peace and joy in your day :)
Posted by: jill | December 30, 2007 at 03:37 AM
So glad that box was for you :)
What a nice nice thing to do and you deserve to smile and enjoy!
Continuing to pray and think of you.
Posted by: Laura | December 30, 2007 at 05:19 AM
How wonderful. You know, there are many out there that care about you and your journey. I'm so happy for you. What a generous surprise. Couldn't have happened to a nicer person. It's wonderful that you have such a giving and loving mother-in-law. Here's sending you prayers and strength. Take care, and remember, you are special! Hugs!
Posted by: Gilda | December 30, 2007 at 07:51 AM
How sweet. You deserve it!!!
Hugs!
Posted by: Gaby | December 30, 2007 at 08:53 AM
Sorry you had such an awful trying day. But so glad there were some bright spots. Thinking of you and hoping you can have some fun times with those goodies. I pop in to see how things are going with you and I love seeing your work. Take care.
Posted by: Amy | December 30, 2007 at 03:11 PM
I am not sure of the situation that you and Eric are facing, but I wanted you to know that my heart goes out to you. Caring for a sick loved one is both an amazing blessing and a difficult trial of faith. You are NOT alone and I pray that your situation will bring some form of sweet peace into your family's life. Hugs to you and yours!
Posted by: JenGallacher | December 30, 2007 at 03:19 PM
hugs for you christine. i'm glad someone was thinking of you when they didn't realize just how much you'd need to be thought of. what a wonderful gift.
Posted by: emily pitts | December 30, 2007 at 04:25 PM
Wowsers! That rocks!
Posted by: Elizabeth | December 30, 2007 at 05:34 PM
You are in my prayers. I hope that you find new things to cherish each day and that you are finding new strengths each day. You are loved, Christine.
Posted by: Katy | December 30, 2007 at 06:06 PM
What a super sweet thing for them to do! So glad it gave you a bright spot on a rough day.
Posted by: Tammy Tutterow | January 01, 2008 at 09:21 PM
What a super sweet thing for them to do! So glad it gave you a bright spot on a rough day.
Posted by: Tammy Tutterow | January 01, 2008 at 09:21 PM
Oh, goodness. Such a painful time. You are so right to treasure the glimpses of heaven that break into the day like the holding of hands and a MIL who will be there for you. My prayers are with you!
Posted by: Tammy Gray | January 02, 2008 at 06:30 PM
What a beautiful layout. It's one that you will treasure, I'm sure. Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and Eric today.
Posted by: Anabelle | January 03, 2008 at 03:15 AM